WEEK 39 - Southern Black People

POV you are me and you wake up and it's your birthday! You miss your friends and family a lot, but you're super excited that you get to talk with them today. You also share your birthday with your little sister Jane, and so you miss her a little extra. So you call your family in the morning and Jane looks at you and starts sobbing and says that she doesn't want to celebrate her 9th birthday anymore and then proceeds to cry even harder, and then you cry cause you miss her, and then your Mom starts crying because she misses you and feels bad for Jane. This theoretical scenario that I just described actually happened this week on my birthday (thank you to everyone who reached out, it was so nice and it meant so much to me). When I called Jane on Thursday morning it made me very very sad because we are birthday buddies, and all that I wanted for my birthday was for her to have a good day. After she cried for like 5 minutes my Mom finally suggested that Jane open up a present, and luckily material goods really cheer Jane up, so she started to be happier and actually had a good day. This experience got me thinking about sacrifice. It was a decently brutal experience to be the reason that Jane started her birthday sobbing. All I wanted to do was reach through that phone and give her a hug and say happy birthday and then all would be well again, but I couldn't. That was a pretty challenging sacrifice I gave to our Lord that day. That is what the gospel is about: sacrificing something you have, that you want so much, for something so much greater. Yes, I had to see Jane so sad and down on her birthday, but in return I got to give light to people's lives who have literally nothing. Every single aspect of the gospel works like this. Every single aspect of happiness works like this. So if you want to be happy whether you are a missionary, or a Mom, or even a dang veteran or something, think of the sacrifice that you can give to Jesus Christ and know that more will come. Speaking of sacrifice, I got second hand high off of fentanyl on Saturday night while teaching a lesson. I was in the super sketchy apartment teaching this huge group of people who all live in the same apartment, and my man Nate was smoking fentanyl so I was like "don't breathe in Elder Yee." Because Elder Yee was focusing hard on not breathing I taught the majority of the lesson, sacrificing myself for my most dear and pure Elder Yee.The lesson went actually pretty good, everyone there seemed to like it except big man Nate who was in another world, he was just doing something else. Anyways that's my first time putting fentanyl into me and it was wild. There were some side effects to breathing in that much fentanyl smoke and the mission health lady was a little worried, but it was all fineeeee Mom, don't worry. Sacrifice. But ya here is my week: - My gosh living in Texas does things to you. For the last 9 months of my life I have attempted to avoid listening to country music, gaining serious weight, buying multiple firearms, being insanely passionate about trucks, purchasing boots/hats, and just trying to not let myself fall victim to this culture. One protective measure I placed upon myself when I got here was that I just wouldn't say "y'all." After 9 months of hearing "y'all" every other word I really got sick and tired of saying "you all" and I just gave up. I started saying y'all and judas it feels good. It's kinda like sin cause it feels good in the moment but as soon as I think about it I am disappointed in myself. But then I noticed that I had a lot bigger of problems. We were out driving in the country and I looked at Elder Yee and I was like "dang I wouldn't mind buying some land out here and living on it." And then a few trucks passed me and I was like "dang those were some nice pickups" and then I saw people with their boots and hats and in my mind I was like "wow those look real nice." When the old me saw a big plot of country I'd be like "ah let's get an apartment complex on this" and if I saw a truck I would be like "that was a dumb truck" and I really really did not like cowboy boots and hats. In the back of my mind I know what is happening to me is wrong and I need to regain my consciousness before I go buy a truck and put a don't tread on me wrap on it, and before I marry a country girl and we move out to the sticks and start listening to that brutal music that I am starting to slightly enjoy. Anyways I guess I am going insane out here because some of my most critical pillars of opinion like these are falling, and that is disappointing. - Besides this texan disease coming upon me it actually was a really good week. On Sunday I got to baptize our friend Nakia! Oh my goodness she is so awesome and her baptism went super well! Before the baptism in our last lesson Elder Yee informed her that I am very likely going to leave in June and she said the classic black lady "you really finna do me like that Elder Horsley?" I don't have racial preferences but my favorite race and ethnicity is the black people in the south, most of them don't have much but they are the kindest and best people ever and they have my entire heart. Anyways at Nakia's baptism she brought her son N'iare (every generation of these people the names get harder) and it was really cool to see the ward show so much love to the baby while she was in the font with me. Then I baptized her and she looked really happy and said she feels "really really good" and then she left the font crying quite hard. I like it when people cry right after they are baptized because that means that they know how big of a deal this is. Our ward is just getting more and more elite (and diverse haha) and I am so grateful for how the Lord is blessing us. Me and Elder Yee are honestly pretty mid missionaries, but the Lord isn't. He is bringing us to people like Nakia so that they can feel of His love and it is super cool to see that. - If you read my emails and think I am just never having any difficulties you are wrong, I just focus on the positives. Missions are super difficult but super rewarding. I have ended my calls with my family in tears many times. Just about everyday I go to visit people in living conditions that I would consider worse than homelessness and situations that I just can't even imagine, that takes a toll on you after a while. I have difficulties with companions. I make mistakes every single day. So if you're reading this and you're like "dang why is he having so much better of a time than me" I am probably not, just try to focus on the positives it helps so much. I love y'all so much and I miss you so much. I'd love to hear from everyone! Have such a good week! P.S. Elder Yee just told his Mom about the fentanyl thing and now he is in deep trouble haha. I hope he doesn't get grounded - Pictures: 1. Very fun dinner thanks Elder Odette 2. Felt kinda cute this day 3. Elder Yee with wildlife 4. Average car in Tyler Texas 5. Leadership call after I consumed fentanyl 6. Nakia's baptism!